Gee…Ya Think?

Disclaimer: The following post is meant to be a sarcastic rant and nothing more. It is not to be taken seriously. If  you really believe that I mean this stuff in a serious context, please seek counseling on the big, brown ugly ass couch and you will feel better since  I will not respond to any post that tries to make this more than the piece of political dark-witted tripe that it is!  Of course watching certain political figures using certain tragedies and the victims of them for their own gain sickens me as much as anything else.  Both parties do it. That is my opinion…

In light of the latest attack on 15 people at the Lone Star College in Cypress, TX some fringe groups are beginning to lobby congress to pass requirements that box cutters, utility knives, sharp gardening tools, hatchets, machetes,   and such materials would  be sold only to those who are contractors in the State of Texas or those who are utilizing these tools must be in possession of a sales tax certificate that will enable them to sell arts and crafts that they produce.  Anyone else who wants these must take a 3 hour training course requiring safety rules be taught on where these can be kept and such.  There will also be a number on the limit of blades and such that anyone can buy for a refill.

Alright…I’ve already established that this is nothing more than dark witted tripe.  So now you are probably thinking, “What the hell is she going on about?”  It is simple. I will spell it out for you.  Whether it is a gun with a limited number of bullets, or a box cutter, they can both become “mechanisms for confrontation”. There is one thing people might want to consider in the gun debate though. With a limited number of bullets, it will take time to re-load, which will give people time to escape or take down the attacker.

On the other hand, a box cutter, utility knife, or other sharp items–like machetes,   can be used repetitively, relatively silently, and swiftly before anyone can take any action because those doing it can hide in a crowd if they get away, and the people who commit crimes using guns or this type of weapon are the exceptions and not the rule. More laws and such will not stop these killings.  The events at Lone Star College only serve to prove the point.

There are other points to ponder here.  Shouldn’t those who are known to be deranged enough to commit such an act have access to anything like this?  I am willing to bet that most will answer “no”, but the only way to stop this is to stop closing down mental health facilities and stop having more staff at the mental hospitals than beds available for the patients. People who are this far gone should not be running around loose and untreated in a free society. 

To continue to allow this will only endanger more people. And for those who have no record of mental illness who commit such depraved acts the answer is simple. When they kill, rape, and or cause grievous bodily harm, lock them up.  NO light sentences for violent crimes and such.  That will stop a lot those who can obviously tell right from wrong from going to the “largest hotel chain in the U.S.”–which is the correctional facility.

To think that outlawing or severely limiting ownership of any mechanism of confrontation, whether it be a gun, machete or whatever is going to stop crimes or reduce the numbers dying each year is, at best, erroneous thought.  Again, the people who commit these acts are the exception and not the rule and since they are the ones doing most of the violent acts, they will find other ways to carry out destruction regardless of what is taken away from society.

 

Texspearean Experience–”Merchant of Venice”….Nana’s version…Well, a Snippet Anyway! ;-)

I am working on a contemporary version of the Merchant of Venice–by William Shakespeare. However, this version is going to be written in the Texspearean language for those who have trouble with reading the great bard’s work.  It is my hope that he has a sense of humor because if he doesn’t, and reincarnation is real (which I don’t think it is-sorry), then with my luck he’d come back as the person who stomps me into the ground–because, I’d return as a  friggin’ cockroach!

Seriously this thing is playing out in my mind…That can be very dangerous.  Be afraid…Be VERY afraid.  What you are about to read is not something you will find in the world which you now know, but you will find it only in, “The Tina Zone” when she’s sleepy…This is part of my journal, folks. DISCLAIMER: I do not take XANAX or PROZAC!

The woman dozed off for a bit…She was exhausted from her long workday, but was thinking heavily about “The Merchant of Venice” before turning off the light and closing her eyes for the night…For some strange reason she saw a contemporary scene played out at the end of this short little dream where someone uttered the line, “No s***, Shylock!”, at which point she woke up for a bit, but as she dozed off, this scenario crossed her mind:

“…NERISSA How like you the young German, the Duke of Saxony‘s nephew?

PORTIA Very vilely in the morning, when he is sober, and
most vilely in the afternoon, when he is drunk: when
he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and
when he is worst, he is little better than a beast:
and the worst fall that ever fell, I hope I shall
make shift to go without him….”

In contemporary language in today’s world, she knows how Portia’s answering line would open in such a version…It would start with two words: “…Bitch, please!” and then go on to “…I can’t stand the dude!…” among other things.  Then she would explain the reasons for hoping she could just be left to her own devices or run off to join the French Foreign Legion…”  

Then again, that is the world of Tina when she’s tired and dozing off.  Have a great week! I know I will! I at least hope it makes someone laugh. I love reading Shakespeare, but when it comes to talking about it, my wires ALWAYS end up crossed and I end up creating this stuff one beast at a time!  I do love comedy, so that’s probably part of  it.

 

Nana: The Baby Boomers are the “Forgotten Audience” It Seems…

Well–not to sound cliché but “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  I am really tired of networks cancelling good shows like “Harry’s Law“, “Memphis Beat” and “Cold Case” because of Nielsen ratings.  These ratings are no longer truly representative of what viewers want because they do not adequately get put across to households representing all age groups.

Even Warner Bros. has stated that “…baby boomers tend to not go to theaters, so that is why certain movies get marketed…” HELLO!  Dear Warner Bros: We pay the friggin’ bills half the time! Stop ignoring us all! If WE are at home in rocking chairs, it should be us you’re surveying and not those teens and ‘tweens you keep pandering movies to that aren’t fit for my dog to piss on the fire hydrant in front of the theater over. You know exactly to what I am referring.  Yes, I am mad. Yes, I’m still hormonal. Deal with it.  To you we are the forgotten audience, but like that nagging ringing you get in your ears, we are NOT going away. We don’t have one foot on the grave and another on the banana peel yet.

Think they got that, folks? Even if they see it, it will not matter much…

One of the best movies that could appeal to my age group is “The Life of Pi” and the other is “Lincoln”…There’s 12 months in a year and that is all Hollywood has to offer us?  Well, there is “Armour”, which I think is probably one of the best films of last year, so it deserved its Oscar nod as well! And it’s a French film! Not all baby boomers get into “The Avengers”–but there are those who still do.  Just for the hell of it, I will watch “Cowboys and Aliens” on dvd though.  Granted there are a few family films put out, but the best ones get put out by Pixar (“Brave”) and NOT WB.   The Expendables II is also good. Like the idea of all those actors grouping up for another hurrah!

That brings me to another topic…Why don’t you boneheads keep the older actors and actresses we love and respect working?  I’ll watch a movie that has Muse Watson, Ben Cross, Kathy Bates, Helen Mirren or Judi Dench any day of the week before I’ll watch that freaking “Twilight” you keep trying to get me to buy tickets for–which I won’t.  I’ll watch Hammer Films. At least they KNOW how to make a good horror/suspense flick!  Did any of you young whipper snappers see “The Woman in Black” yet? I suggest you watch it and learn a thing or two after subjecting this lifelong Dark Shadows fan to that abysmal movie that was made in 2012.   Hammer Studios knows how to get the job done right. That has been proven.

Bruce Willis also knows how to get the job done right.  ”Red” proved that.  Watch this clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFLX7Pk1Tn4

Just to note: IF Willis makes a part II for this I hope Mr. Cross gets offered a hell of a comedic role!

If you’re not going to keep us happy using the major networks, I hope some enterprising investors come up with a network JUST FOR older audience members that will keep these actors working and put food on the table!   It makes perfect sense to me!   A little innuendo and such doesn’t bother my age group either.  However constantly being bombarded with the “visioning” and “re-visioning” these screenwriters come up with really pissed off my age group in the past few years.  It has gotten to where I prefer live theater to television anymore because the networks keep putting too much trash on them.  The only good shows worth watching are the CSI’s, NCIS’s, Law and Order spin-offs, etc…I could care less about “Reality TV”. I can watch reality for free every day so I don’t want to see it on the television…

I’d rather see a good variety show than Glee any day of the week.  I think one of the best movies that is going to come out in 2013 is going to be “A Common Man” with Sir Ben Kingsley and Ben Cross starring in it.  I’d pay $30 a ticket for that one!  I’d also pay for a ticket to hear Ben Cross sing, but that’s off the subject a bit…However, that man has some pipes on him, folks!  I never knew he could sing until I saw this a few years back:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khSVOJF4S3c

I think another good movie coming out is “Monumental” which stars Gary Cairns II, who also stars in “Black Butterflies” with Brad Dourif. “Black Butterflies” is also coming out this year too.  Yes, Gary is younger but he knows how to act and he takes good scripts so I’d pay as much to see him also–and he is a down to Earth, cool guy. I can personally attest to that fact.

“Posey” is another film that everyone who has had Alzheimer’s touch their family or has elderly family members they love dearly should watch this year.  Sally Kirkland is a wonderful actress and she recently snagged the Best Actress Award at the Idyllwild CinemaFest for her role.  Billy DaMota is a man with an excellent heart to put such a film together and I fully support it.  Also having Christopher Pennock in the cast peeks my interest as well!  I’d love to see him get more work this year too! Here is the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWMTBV7sIl0

Alright now…Her majesty “Nana” has spoken.  Have a great week!

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

And I hope you all have a wonderful time with family, friends, and/or loved ones. I’ll be at work and will go to Mom’s after or early in the a.m.

Here’s a laugh for ya!

Oh Come on! You knew this was coming! LOL Have a great one!

I Simply DO NOT Get It…Nana’s Practical Joke!

Many of my friends who know me know that I am anything BUT a prude.  I don’t believe in changing the proper name of something to make it more appealing to the subjugated masses of America.  That being said I am putting something on my blog never done to the best of my knowledge. I am putting a pair of TIT pictures on here. That is right! A Pair of Tits!  To make it easier–two pictures of two kinds of tits!  Now anyone can use my link for a practical joke and say, “For a nice looking pair of tits–check this link!”   That will teach those with a dirty mind to come here, won’t it? At least I am good for a laugh or two…

Here are the blue tits!

I think it is the part of the responsibility of EVERY writer to elicit laughter from the audience once in a while… ***Grins sheepishly here***! If you were sent here by a friend and cannot take a joke, then I’ll say to you in my best TEXSPEAREAN manner: “Don’t blame me so harshly for I didn’t name the critters! However if it should offend ‘ye then ’tis you that hath a burr in yer craw! And jus’ so ye know, them Brits have two species: Great Tits and Blue Tits and notwithstanding my dig forthwith ‘ye know I believe they love those tits!”

Well you can’t blame me! After all, I didn’t name ‘em did I?

Dark Shadows: The Revival…Getting “Revived” via fans?

Some will think this is crazy but it is true! The 12 episodes of the Revival series are getting more attention since the Depp/Burton trailer has been released.  Hulu.com is getting more traffic for that version now.  Why? Fans are wanting to see what the fuss is all about and the Revival series offers a true Dan Curtis version in only 12 episodes. The curiosity is aroused once again. Curtis retained creative control over all of his productions until his death.

Ben Cross now owns the role according to his fans and he's gaining new ones! He is getting some well-deserved and long overdue respect as is the rest of the Revival series cast. Perhaps Hollywood should take note of this when making films...

Now my question is, why not release to 2004 pilot so fans can compare differences?  I do know this much–the new fans of the Revival series that are coming on board are saying that Ben Cross now owns the Barnabas role since the trailer’s release. Some of these new fans prefer the original but now appreciate the portrayal of Barnabas by Mr. Cross more now than they did in 1991.  Like it or not, Cross stayed more true to the basic instincts of such a character than most.  He tempered that battle between beast and man and is somewhat different from Frid in his approach to it.

I always say that Jonathan Frid made him more human to me as a small child, but Ben Cross made him a real “being” to me a few years back.   That being said, I am glad that finally the cast of the Dark Shadows Revival series is getting some long overdue positive recognition for their attempt to breathe fresh life into the show.  The late Jean Simmons was phenomenal as Elizabeth…RIP…Adrian Paul–outstanding…So was the rest of the cast–especially the duo of Ben Cross and Joanna Going.

I’ve heard the complaints about Ben’s mullet….I’ve heard the complaints about the Day for Night shots, but I’ll take that over a comedic farce any day of the week and that is what the new version will end up being–this time around.  If you are fans of the Revival series, there is a page for it on FB here:  https://www.facebook.com/DarkShadows.Revival .  For fans of Ben Cross, his page is here and he’d love to hear from you:  https://www.facebook.com/actorbencross …I’m sure Adrian Paul wouldn’t mind either…Here’s the link to his page–and he’s a phenomenal human being!  Look at the things he supports!  https://www.facebook.com/adrianpaulofficial  If you ever watched “Highlander’ you know who Adrian Paul is, kiddies.

I also suggest Mr. Depp do one thing for his next film…Skip the White Face make up. It will not  help with the Lone Ranger remake he is in either. Barnabas looks like a cross between Beetlejuice and a Vulcan. Here are both pics…Once you look at them go back and think about Beetlejuice (which starred Michael Keaton wearing the same make-up), Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands, Etc…All are relatives in Depp’s character genealogy.  Enough with it already!

As talented as Mr. Depp is as an actor, I am beginning to wonder what other shows I loved as a  child will get laid to waste? People on Facebook and other sites are asking this also. Hopefully he will start paying attention.  He is one of the best actors there is, and I will never understand why he and Burton seem to be putting more of the shows in their cross hairs.  It is said that he’ll make “The Night Stalker” into a movie also. God forbid! Even the ABC ran version based on the original was not good!

I Am Told Not to Judge a Movie by the Trailer…

The title is self-explanatory.  Yet a movie trailer is what is meant to lure the viewer in to see the film.   I was going to go see the new Dark Shadows movie that was made by that all familiar duo of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, despite the fact that I didn’t care for a lot of the earlier films they did together.  Johnny Depp is a great actor. Do not get me wrong there, but I am not what is called in some fan circles as a “Die Hard Depper”.

After seeing the trailer for the new Dark Shadows movie, I got totally turned off of the idea despite the fact that I loved the original series and I loved the Revival series of the 1990′s too.  However, I cannot look at the trailer from the link below and see anything that I can remotely identify with from my childhood, or the Revival version–both of which were the vision of the late Dan Curtis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isjg9O7ifwM

Many criticized the original in recent years for the bloopers and low-budget adjustments that had to be made by cast and crew–but to an entire generation of children, these characters seemed real. I would have kicked Lara Parker in the shins and ran for my life when I was a five-year old girl.   Barnabas, played by Jonathan Frid, was bullied by her in my young mind and I wanted to see him “get well”.  I viewed him as “ill and unable to help it”…I’m sure I am not the only little child who empathized with Frid’s rendition of the character in this way.

Then the show was gone.  My parents divorced.  Over the years my life changed and such…Then I went to work for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. It was in my room at the officer’s  quarters that I got very bored one night and began playing around on hulu.com.  It was there I watched episode after episode of the “Dark Shadows Revival” series.  I was hooked by the portrayal Ben Cross gave…It was here I discovered Ben Cross the actor as well and found his Facebook page.

I was still able to empathize with his Barnabas, even though at the time he beat Willie, I felt that Barnabas was WAY out of line.  Yet, Mr. Cross tempered that character enough to show a realistic point–it would be hell for someone in that character’s predicament to temper that battle within between the beast he could turn into and the man he once was.  He was a good man–and his flaw was messing around with the WRONG woman.

Oh well…Cest Le Vie…Now we have this new one coming out and from the trailer, I can already tell that I cannot empathize with Depp’s rendition.  He looks more alien than human–as if he’s a combination of Nosferatu and Beetlejuice.  Barnabas should NEVER look like this…I can also tell by Burton’s direction that this is going to be more of a farce that will make the Barnabas I grew up on and adored to look more like a buffoon.  The scene in the trailer between him and Angelique made me think more of “War of the Roses” than Dark Shadows. Sorry.

I also cannot picture a vampire, while trying to adapt to the time period he’s in, making boob remarks and telling a 15-year-old relative that is not married about how her “child-bearing hips” aren’t in use…Barnabas was a gentleman and in past movies and the two series I mentioned, Shakespearean actors were tapped to play him. I believe Dan Curtis had very good reason for casting his production in such a way and having those characters portrayed as they were.

One more thing I will point out is that I KNOW my history here. While a lot of upper class colonists did wait until later to marry, there were some who did marry younger.  That is the only reason why the writers will get away with that remark about those “child-bearing hips”.

I only have one more thing to add here…The voice…I heard and saw more of a cleaned up version of  “Jack Sparrow” than I did any Barnabas Collins that was ever portrayed. For what it is worth though, the schlock I saw in the trailer would have been perfect for a remaking of  “The Fearless Vampire Killers“.  Here’s a clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q-sukI-ZpU

I apologize to the die-hard “DarkShadows” fans and to all the loyal Depp fans out there, but I cannot justify going to see this particular film. It is sad to me that an actor as great as Johnny Depp has chosen to portray the character a lot of us loved growing up in the fashion that this trailer makes him out to be.

One thing Hollywood critics need to get through their heads is that people are not going to pay attention to what they write for the most part–only the academy will.  The ones who will flock to see this are the ones who are die-hard Depp fans no matter what he does, and those who don’t know what all the fuss is about.  Unless one of my family members or friends buys the ticket, I’ll wait for the over-priced dvd.

Other than Frid’s performance,  this is how Barnabas should be portrayed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOL5DogfA2w

I don’t care how many people criticize the make up, Mr. Cross’s mullet and such.  He raised the bar too high for anyone to follow suit, and the trailer from the new movie only makes this viewer appreciate his rendition of the character even more.

On the other hand I heartily recommend this movie because the whole family can watch it!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOqSi-_cXeE  It has a taste of “Remember the Titans”, “Bad News Bears”, “The Mighty Ducks”–and any other good sports movie that was meant for a young and old audience alike!  This one will be one of the best of 2012 and will be in theaters on May 18th~! At least this trailer has a good feel about it!  The name of the movie is “Crooked Arrows” and is about a Native American Lacrosse team! It will be worth spending the money for the ticket on. Check out the likes on its Facebook page already!

I Hate Politics…Really…Can You Tell?

There are some things in this world I do not understand.  I am not gay, but I don’t care who marries who and who sleeps with who. It is simply not my business.  Now I know the crowd who attends church every Sunday without fail are going to slam me for saying that, but it is true.  It is NOT my business or anyone else’s–not the church’s, not the government’s, etc…WHY does EVERY bleeding thing have to be legislated in this country according to the whims of those who are only trying to control the rest of the population via their leaders and lobbyists? The problem is that people who go out against gay marriage are NOT minding their own business but trying to force their will on another segment of the population.  There are some in that camp that will argue that it is the “left-wing-commie-loving-”whoevers” (their words–not mine)” that are trying to force their agenda on them.

I say that government–instead of taking sides in the issue should shut them all up and simply pass a federal amendment that will require one state to honor another state’s civil laws about marriage and such and then leave it the hell alone.  That way each state can legalize what they want and other states have to honor it.  Here’s the catch:  The legalization of marijuana will need separate attention. I don’t smoke marijuana…In fact I don’t smoke at all, but I am not offended by what others do…Why?  AGAIN:  IT is THEIR business.

I didn’t go around playing “Tap door, run!” like others did either…However instead of it being labeled the harmless prank as it is, many have decided to label it “criminal mischief“…All of  these laws are designed to meet ONE end, folks…That end is to gain revenue.  The fines collected and such would blow your minds. However, we do have to give to the $400K+ retirement package for the presidents when out of office…Then there are those congressmen/women who exempt themselves from legislation they pass wanting to force a medical care package down the throats of Americans as well as tax the hell out of them further.  First off, Congress should pass NO LAWS that they and their families are NOT subject to.  Their families shouldn’t get a college education on MY DIME when others who clearly deserve it cannot get aid to go themselves.    Most only DREAM of going to college because of state cuts.

THAT is a whole new topic for another post.  Both parties are contributing to the problems–they say government can’t run…Yeah right…Pay me only $150,000 a year with a 1 week vacation per year, good health insurance and a decent 401K, and I’LL RUN FOR PREZ in 2012! Don’t pay for my kids college either!  Don’t pay me the $450K a year when out of office either–($70K would be plenty) and definitely do not build a “library” for me.  I need no monument when people are hungry in this country! I’ll pay into SS (which all federal employees should do–including government members)! First piece of legislation I pass will be to return the Black Hills to the Lakota over a 10 year timetable.  Then I’ll  pass a “Mind Your Own Damned Business” law…That will mean people can marry who they want, and BY GOD, I’ll push to legalize marijuana for private use.  People who abuse law enforcement to harass their neighbors will get stiff fines and so will the exes who stalk their former lovers/exes, etc…There will be jail time for claims proven to be false and deliberately made too…How is that for a start?

Also for “crimes” that are really harmful to NOBODY that juveniles would commit–such as “Tap Door, run!”–NO FINES whatsoever…Make ‘em do 40 hours of community service and write a 5000 word essay on why they shouldn’t break curfew  if they disturb someone’s beauty sleep! I’ve seen that penalty work on MANY kids.  I hate politics because it is all about the ALMIGHTY BUCK folks! Pure and simple!

Anyone Up for a Little Bytch?

Yes…You read it correctly…I want to get my all female band going.  Here are my requirements…All members must be over 35, have been divorced at LEAST once and really don’t give a crap what other people think because they spent too much of their lives worrying over it.  They must also be comfortable with being called bytches because that will be part of our band name.  If members do have kids, the kids must think their moms are “cool” for this or they will be allowed to force said children  into servitude as our roadies–and believe me, my boys do not want to have to make a middle of the night M&M run to the store! Damned straight!

“Bytch Cassidy!”  Has a nice ring to it, I think…

Ground rules for the first album…Each song has to have the word “bitch” or a derivative of it somewhere.  The only exception will be our cover of “None of the Above” and possibly 1 more cover song.

WE must use the cartoon I drew years ago which depicted an interesting political climate in the 1970′s.  I drew it in 8th grade.  We draw straws for the art on the back cover.

General rules:  Don’t leave the toilet seat up.  Do pick up after yourself and don’t leave money on the bus! It can get ripped off!

Needed:  bass player, drummer, lead guitarist and a possible 2nd guitarist.  If you are good at reading/writing the music, that’s even better.

Management…What the hell?  Deal with that when we get to that point…

Aside from that there is a song right off the top of my head I refuse to do and that is “Fancy”.  I hate that song.  I see nothing so great about pimping out one’s own kid no matter how bad things get. Sorry.

Anyway, there is my take on it…All members must have  a good sense of humor and some dry wit working for them.   A little laughter goes a long way.   Now here’s a clip of that famous, kick ass song I’d love to cover:

None of the Above–Again…This is one of the best songs Duran Duran ever did…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BP4GQPbn4Aw

Now girls! Any takers?

 

 

 

 

Okay…Where are you all at? There was NO Rapture so I KNOW you’re around! You’re all too Quiet!!!

Okay…The rapture did not happen Saturday so why are you all so bloody quiet? I KNOW unless you’re dead, you’re here! That also means if you’re here, then like me, you went to work today…How was YOUR Monday? Mine was straight out of the “Twilight Zone”!

IN fact, this says it ALL after my manager had to deal w/all kinds of “Close Encounters of the Weird Kind” all day long–and a few of them were close encounters of the TURD kind!!!

If NOTHING ELSE, this clip which also appears on Piper Bayard’s blog should cheer you up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LXuNpF6NVg&feature=related

You really need to check out Bayard and Holmes blog…They totally rock!  You will learn some true History from a unique perspective, that’s for sure!