My books, dvds, jewelry and a few other things are going with me.  However I do have to part with some things to get smaller things–like my TV and stand. They are too big to fit. Other than that, I have several things I will NOT part with that are smaller, and if no one comes to stay in the other bedroom, that is going to be my writing/computer room., but I’m sure Buddy is going to claim a corner to crash in!  He always does!

I also look forward to living alone again.  I actually look forward to being able to watch my Banshee dvd’s and such, which should arrive in July or the first part of August.  I’ll have to change the order up to get it shipped to where I’m going.  I’ll probably have them shipped to my workplace. I am going to get the poster and T-Shirt too. I love shows with good acting and logical plots–and despite the nickname of the Cinemax channel, this show has those things.

The only main drawback is that I will not get to see my grand kids as much.  They are moving in the opposite direction.  However, I hope they come to Midland to visit once in a while.   I would  lay down my life for my boys or the grand kids in a heartbeat. However, I always love a quiet evening sitting outside in a lawn chair,  where the only sounds I hear are the wind, the birds and the occasional roar of thunder before I have to go back inside.

I also love the sound of rain hitting a tin roof, and the sight of the stars and the full moon–which I’ll also be able to enjoy.  These are some of the things people take for granted.  For me, it will be almost like a return to known territory–almost like a sanctuary, which I need so, so badly right now.

I will have a quiet place of my own so that I can get back to writing as well.  I need that type of space to work on “Centuries Under the Moon” anyway.   I really like the idea of having a female lead, with a female perspective on the modern world–despite the fact she died well over 200 years prior…

Anyway, have a great night.

The air was cold since it was January and the stars seemed to be very bright. Kit loved looking at them. She often wondered what it would like to fly up into where they were.

“Are you listening to me!?,” Karen screamed, “You had better be listening!”

Kit then looked at her and said, “Nothing scares me anymore. Not even that gun. Not even you. Either do it or let me go live with Mom.”

The gun was now pressed against her forehead.  The barrel was cold and Karen’s hand was shaking as Kit stared into her eyes.

“Stop looking at me damn you! If you go to school one more time and tell them–”

“You’ll what?! Blow my head off? Do it. I told you I’m not afraid anymore. I don’t care!” Kit yelled as she kept staring straight into her eyes.

The now 13-year-old was quite resolute in her statement. She saw no way out of the house of horrors so she began to stand up to the monster.  That monster was Karen.

Karen threw the silver pistol back into her purse, started the car and sped off with Kit still inside. She took her across town to Jack’s house.  She then reached across the seat and opened Kit’s door.

“Get the hell out of here and go inside! If you say one word to Jack I swear I’ll–”

“Whatever…Same old crap!” Kit said to her as she shut the door and began to take a step back.

With that Karen peeled out with such force that Kit was knocked down.  The child got up, dusted off her jeans and went to the door. It took a long while for  her to go to sleep, and her sister-in-law was asking what had happened but Kit only responded, “With Karen what doesn’t happen?”

The entire family felt powerless to help the child.  The only way Karen stopped hitting her was when her mother got wind of it.  Her mother delivered a personal message via her aunt down the street.

“If you touch Kit or my son one more time, Bitch, I’ll kill you myself.” was the message.

Kit would not find out about this until she was in her 20′s but often wondered why during the last six months of Karen’s life she tended to just storm off when things got tense between her and her dad.  She didn’t even bully Kit during that time other than to scream at her once in a while. Kit got to where she would tune her out.

When Kit entered her cell she would look at the green shades and cringe once in a while. She would then look at the wall she decorated.  She put up a red tartan bedspread on her wall for an accent wall and then covered it with Beatles and Bay City Rollers posters.  She also had a huge poster of Paul McCartney and Wings on the other side of her room.

On the other side was her doll collection.  She had Native American dolls, Japanese dolls, the first Revlon doll ever made and a lot of other antique ones–which got sold out from under her little by little  after Karen’s death–along with her TV because her dad said, “You don’t need this stuff anymore.  He then replaced it with stuff Karen had–which she didn’t want.  She worked for her things and now they were taken from her one day while she was at school.  He gave the stereo she did babysitting  for to her brother and then gave her Karen’s which pissed her off totally.

While Karen did have a better one, she wanted no reminders. She liked her white one. She paid for it with her money. Now her brother had it. She had a 19″ black and white TV she liked watching. He put Karen’s 9″ portable color TV in there.  That also pissed her off–especially since it had to be sent for repairs every time she turned around.  However one night she was watching and a video from the  year prior came on.  It was “Mull of Kintyre” by Paul McCartney and Wings.

It would be that video that would spawn her desire to see other places.  She loved how the kids in that video were having fun down by the fire on the beach–something she never got to do.  As thoughts of the monster began to fade a bit at night, those thoughts were replaced with new ones–and when the green shades came down, it marked a new freedom for Kit.  It was at this point she picked up a pen and began creating new worlds, new people and dreaming of a new life.  She had never seen mist  rolling in from the Ocean and longed for it…One day she would, but for now, the video had to do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5626WzsfMw

This was the video that started that journey for her so many years ago.  The open land and the beach…The smiles on people’s faces…These were the things that she loved to see on TV.  And later in that year–1978, she would find out what a “normal” family was…She would realize then how abnormal her life had been and it would also make new thoughts churn in her head as she pulled out her pen and paper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZt7J0iaUD0  Luka–Suzanne Vega

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6l1kpJ0x5k   Home Free–Wayne Watson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCZ1YteCv5M  “What It’s Like”–Everlast (dedicated to the hypocrites everywhere–they are as broken as those they victimize, I think…)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1QGnq9jUU0  “My Heart is Broken“–Evanescence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM  “Beautiful”–Christina Aguilera

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miazVAj2PxA  “I Probably Wouldn’t Be This Way“–Leann Rimes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttggMJeUAo4  “When You Were Mine”–The Dixie Chicks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saalGKY7ifU  “My Heart Will Go On”–Celine Dion

NOW FOR THE ONES THAT REALLY GET TO ME PERSONALLY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_KhkXNF6-U  “Mr. Perfect”–Pink  (I love this song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1GmxMTwUgs  “Angel”–Sara McLachlan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSjIz8oQuko  “Family Portrait”–from a girl’s perspective–parental break ups are hell. So is living in WW3.  I experienced the latter in a much different way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUfgAbFY4CA  “Wonderful”–Everclear  One of the best songs involving divorce from a kid’s perspective I have ever heard in my life. Parents should listen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7oqmikZDQ  “Untitled”–Simple Plan  This video accurately depicts how driving drunk destroys a family. Watch it…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7l98wiQx0s  “Broken”–Lindsey Haun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS91knuzoOA ”Jeremy”–Pearl Jam   Sometimes children break to the point that they kill themselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPG1n1B0Ydw  ”Stay”–Sugarland   Sometimes it is the other woman who is the stronger one when she realizes it’s best to walk the hell away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gmgwx77osw&list=FL5P37z_TMECOYMgJMs0RE6w  “I Was Only 19“–Video from The Herds version of “I was only 19″ with the music of the original by Redgum.  This is the very best song about PTSD I have ever heard and the video kicks ass.  This  is an Australian video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je8mrb31D1g  “All That You Are”–The Goo Goo Dolls   AND if we have people in our lives who help us to reach this point, we’re damned lucky!

There…Pick and choose! Anyway these are a few of my favorite songs about various states of being.

Why is it in schools they worry about the peach-fuzz Johnny is growing on his chin or the piercings Jenny has in her eyebrow but they say the bullying, which is actually either physical assaults or emotional abuse–not to mention cyber-bullying is a “phase”?  That, for lack of a better word, is bullshit.

The teachers are the “officers”–powerless to defend themselves and other students from bullies for fear of litigation or losing their job.  The Texas Youth Commission officers are not much different.  The administrators are like the prison wardens, only the prison warden has tools at his/her disposal to stop offenders from being bullied to the point of suicide and such.

Since the days of John Dewey, the school climate has drastically changed.  America has a growing population of gang kids and/or kids of hardened criminals rising up in the ranks of the students and they are creating problems on the campuses.  Family members often ignore or encourage the behavior, blaming everything on the teachers and admins or blaming the other kid (the victim).  When the hell did we start conditioning or students to be “good inmates”?  School should be a sanctuary for learning, not institutions for control and indoctrination.

The prisons have the Prison Rape Elimination Act in place to help protect offenders.  If society is so willing to protect them, why is it that we are failing in this nation to protect our children?  I think every parent who has a son or daughter being bullied should actually study the PREA.  The language in it is strong, but a new act can be drafted based on that to protect students from bullies.  Here are a few things I propose…

1.  Any time a student is found to have been bullied, the school must notify parents within 2 hours of becoming aware of it.

2. If a student has been physically assaulted, the bully is to be treated the same way as if he/she committed the crime of assault off-campus–meaning that being at school does NOT exempt students from obeying the law and does not give schools the option to NOT report crimes to the police department.  If they have to report child abuse when suspected in the home, then this should also be a requirement.

3. The school must report and prosecute all physical assaults and take measures to fully protect the victims of physical assaults of any nature, which includes sexual assaults.

4. Sexual assaults ON CAMPUS are to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law and if it occurs on school property, administration should have to fill out incident packets to turn over to police officers for use in the prosecution of  the perpetrator within 2 hours of becoming aware of the assault(s).

5. Victims of bullying should never have to be moved to another school for protection. It is the bullies that should be split up and sent to other schools at their parents’ expense. Hit the parents in the pocket-book, they will learn to control their children.

6. Any school official not reporting bullying incidents to parents and/or taking proper action against what amounts to be criminal acts should face automatic disciplinary hearings and possible loss of licenses from the Texas Education Agency.  This will stop a lot of these administrators from enabling and becoming complacent.  They should also be able to face penal charges in severe cases and civil charges in the lower degree offenses if not reporting them.

7.  The way I see it, their rights end where the next victim commits suicide over the issue.  In cases where it is found that parents enabled their son/daughter to torment another student, they should be fined in successive amounts for their negligence in each offense. Money collected from fines can be used to pay for supplies for needy students and uniforms (if schools require those).

8. It should be expressly stated in the act that no teacher or school official will face penalties under the law for taking appropriate actions to protect themselves and other students from those who seek to harm them during an incident.  This way they can step in to break up altercations and such.  The staff should not be expected to take beatings any more than the bullied child.  This would give districts some teeth in dealing with bad situations.

9. All teachers and administration officials will be required to take PMAB classes to learn proper ways of restraining violent, out of control students.  Parents will sign an agreement that they know teachers are trained in this and that if their student gets out of control, they can be restrained, releasing the district from liability.

10. Students with severe behavior disorders that require psych meds will either take those meds or not attend school until they do so. Parents will make sure this happens or face child neglect charges.

11. Students prone to violent outbursts will not be educated in the regular classroom after 2 outbursts, but will be taught in a separate classroom provided and monitored closely.  After 2 outbursts this will be permanent.  This is only reserved for students with severe behavioral issues.

12. The profession of teaching in the State of Texas will become an “at will” position in order to effectively enforce bullying policies.  This means when educators aren’t doing their job with these bullies, they can be fired without all the union bullshit. If failing to report assaults and such to the police and to the victims’ parents, they should face the same penalties for that as for failing to report child abuse.

Anyway, these are just ideas I’m tossing around in my head. What do you think?

Please continue to keep her family and friends in your thoughts and prayers.  Please keep this community of West Texas in your thought also. This entire community is heartbroken, to say the least.  This case resulted in a nationwide search. Thank God for all of those volunteers and those in law enforcement who never gave up on her also.

In their time of loss, let us remember the family of Hailey Dunn in our thoughts. Thank you.

Regardless of their country of origin, they should receive no news from it. The logic being that if they renounced their own country and took an allegiance to this one and then betrayed it, they deserve no news  from either place.  Give them religious accommodation with a cleric from whatever religion they claim to be in–but do not let that cleric discuss news with them.

I think this would be a greater punishment than death or life in an American prison. Their actions would have real consequences. They would have no cause to support if they were stripped their countries, would they? I mean to the point to where there is NO television or radio either…

Their families would be notified of their well-being via a letter from them every week, but the offenders of this nature would only receive letters with notices of births, deaths and news of a personal nature–not anything that involves politics and such.  They would only be allowed on radio phone call with relatives after the death of an immediate family member, with clear instructions that if the family member tries to relay any news of either country, the call would abruptly be ended.

Does that sound too extreme?  Well…I wonder if they would be so eager to try to push their ideals and fear onto this country if they knew this would be the fate that awaited them…

I should give credit to the late Edward Everett Hale for this idea.  I really think as sad as the story “The Man Without a Country” is, it is far less tragic than the events we have seen unfold in this country in the past 13 years.  I think the concept of isolation and no news is worth some serious thought.  For whatever their cause is, it wouldn’t serve them well to receive this sentence.

At least I can honestly say it is an approach that has not been used before.  As long as they are fed, clothed and allowed their choice of whatever religion they want, a shower, and medical care  then they would be a lot better off than a lot of the American people are now. What do you think?

Well, that is my take on the subject and if it offends anyone, oh well…I’m used to that. If anyone has any other ideas that might ACTUALLY work, feel free to share them because after 13 years of crap, I’m open to something that might actually work as a solution.

However it is my opinion that Homeland Security and the FBI dropped the ball.  IF people go to countries like Yemen and such and show signs of extremism when they return, that is obviously a problem.  If our government wants to make the population guinea pigs and become the “thought police” and try to disarm anyone, these are people they should start with.  Then they should disarm anyone with family members living in the household who have mental illnesses that can make them dangerous to others, too.

The saddest thing about any murderer, whether it be a terrorist or someone from any other background is that most of the time they do not realize the fact that they are not only destroying lives of the victims’ families but they are destroying their own families.  I wonder if when they are caught (if caught alive) and they see how distraught their families are if they really do begin to understand the magnitude of the fact they have accomplished nothing but destroying those around them they claim to love.

The families of these murderers suffer as much as victims’ families do and it is sad that we live in a society that after hundreds of years, there is a tendency to judge all for the actions of one…or two….All one has to do is read the comments under every story to see that the hatred from both sides of an issue runs deeper than the muddy waters of the Mississippi River.

When I was a sergeant in the correctional field, people would actually cheer if a murderer, especially a person who murdered a child was executed in turnout.  As the surviving family member of a murder victim, this type of mob mentality does sicken me. I do not understand it.  Even if they put this young man, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to death, it will not bring peace to the families of those who died and it certainly won’t change the fact that the lives of those who survived are forever altered.

These men took more than four lives.  They have brought our nation to a crossroads–a test if you will…The real question is, will we as a nation continue to let these people cause enough hate and resentment between two sides of a debate hate each other, or will each side learn to accept that things are as they are for a reason and try to work together toward a solution that will not result in further dividing the country?

This story is going to lead to more political wrangling.  We all know this.  However there are two sides to the argument that are clear…On one side, some feel that law enforcement are our protectors and our heroes–and for the most part, they are.  On the other side are those people who feel that they cannot protect us all.  That side feels that they are outgunned and out manned. Not all people who wish to keep the right to own arms want to own them for the sake of posterity or pride. Some truly feel that the American people are under threat and that our government does not recognize the threat and how serious that threat is–or they choose to ignore that threat.

A few of them feel that the government is indifferent to what they feel and could become a threat themselves. As a society that does care, do we really want to continue to feed that beast of a thought train? I can tell you this, those who worship the party they vote for while attacking the others with such open hostility, including hate, regional bias and the like, will only lead to further divisions…Both sides of the political extreme in the Democratic Party and the Republican Party would like nothing better than to force their agendas on the rest of the NORMAL members of society who do not agree with them.

They are the ones that must be brought into compliance with one ideal: We are all Americans. We all bleed red and we all need to realize one thing:  hatred never accomplishes anything.  There is an old saying I used to hear–and granted it is biblical, but I feel that there is more truth in it than what Americans want to admit.  ”A kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.”   Whatever your political leanings are, you will not win hearts and minds by all the hate-mongering and Bush bashing you do…You won’t win them by bashing the Obamas either.

It is time for this nation to act like adults.  This is something the American people have not done in some time.  They have not learned to mind their own business.  They have not learned to stop attacking others for not worshiping the political party that they do.  It is time to learn how to not stoop to the level of either side.  A good first step in accomplishing this would be to turn off the TV and stop watching the puppets in the media.  Yes, you read that correctly.  We don’t see a lot of good journalism anymore but there are a handful of good journalists out there.

These are the ones who actually report THE NEWS without injecting how they feel things should be into the story.  There was a day when personal bias was left out of journalism and unless the people stop allowing themselves to be sucked into this game they play, they will continue to do this type of shoddy reporting to sway the hearts and minds of America by injecting inflammatory opinions into their own writing. Those things are meant to upset the population and sell papers.  When the field of journalism began to take off there was a term for that phenomenon. It was called yellow journalism and it is done by emphasizing sensationalism–especially about wars and such.  Now there is a time and place to do this. Now is not the time or the place because much of the nation is still in shock at the horrendous nature of this crime.

That being said, the pundits need to stop calling this person a “boy”, a “kid”, etc…He is 19 years old. He is a young man. He was part of a criminal act–which means he is a criminal himself. The question is, to what degree?  It will not be up to the public to decide, but that is not what the media is trying to accomplish. Some journalists already try to evoke sympathy in one direction or the other to the point that if this guy gets tried by a jury, I do not think he can get a fair trial.  It is time for the media to back off now.  The families need to finish burying their dead and the communities need to begin to heal.

It is also time to let this young man’s friends and family come to terms with the death of a loved one as well. It is also not fair to judge them by the acts of these two brothers. Some of their family members are as shocked as the rest of the nation–save for the “auntie” who is going to get 15 minutes of fame with this.

After that, it will be for a judge and/or a jury to decide this person’s fate.  Can we not wait until all is said and done to play the role of “armchair expert”?

Now what sparked this you ask? Aside from the fact that my ancestors were here long before anyone of European descent–including Spaniards set foot on the place?  It was one statement by this man:

There should be no tolerance for this type of teaching at ANY level of education in America and teachers/professors with these views should not be in ANY educational post in this country.  This is hate speech. It must be stamped out.

This gentleman, and I do use that term rather loosely for him, doesn’t seem to realize that not even his people–many of whom were also Spaniards who came to this continent are considered “white”.  Yes, he probably has them in his family tree…I have no tolerance for such bigotry. My grandson is part African American and I am part Comanche. For his information, my people were here long before anyone’s and yes there is Irish in my family tree but many were most likely indentured servants.

Anyone who supports this ilk is part of the problem in this country.  No artist in film or in the music industry should remain silent when these people are getting away with such hate speech. This is not about the parties anymore. It is about the people and these racists are like a cancer and must be weeded out and removed from their posts–period!  As long as these people have control of our colleges and children in the classrooms, there can never be unity because they seek to divide and conquer.

I could have been a “Welfare Mom”…You know, the ones most people like to bitch about, but I wasn’t.  I did draw public assistance between jobs and ADC once when my ex decided he wasn’t going to work and help pay for anything.  However, after that I was working 2 jobs and trying to finish up my degree.

If there is one thing that pisses me off it is when someone says, “I make more on unemployment than I can working at McDonald’s with my degree!”

Well excuse the hell out of me, but my taxes are supporting your ability to constantly sit on your ass so if you can make more, why the hell don’t you have a friggin’ job?  Seriously, that ticks me off. That is ego talking–not necessity.  There are places where McDonald’s pays $10-15 an hour starting (just like Wal~Mart around here) so you have no excuse anymore.  These are the type of people who would let their families starve before taking a job at ANY level. Well we weren’t born with the crown jewels on our heads and we won’t die with them there either…

My family ate a lot of beans, cornbread and potatoes, but that was paid for with my wages and sometimes (if I did get them)  food stamps.  NEVER would I turn down a job if I knew it would provide for my family. That is such BS.

I also have no problem with people who really need help. The elderly and disabled DO deserve help but not these people who use their degrees as an excuse to sit on their asses…I have a problem with those who say crap like this and refuse to work because they think doing labor or cleaning toilets is beneath their dignity and/or their education level. Having degrees does not make  us better than everyone else. It only guarantees an employer that we can read and write now. It is time to face reality. Nobody owes people like this a living.  

AND if necessary, I’d hide those credentials to get the job if times demanded it! A person who really wants a job and knows he/she can’t find one should NEVER disclose having a degree–especially if  they realize that they are in an area with a high rate of unemployment. 9 times out of 10 these employers come back with “You’re ‘overqualified.” which is more BS.  It is better to make that $9-10 an hour than to make ZERO dollars an hour. Get it yet?  

I think Obama is right about ONE thing. We need to get our priorities in order. That means as individuals we need to take responsibility for our actions, our lack of actions, our apathy, our lives and OUR CHILDREN and families.  Life will not hand you what you want, you have to work for it, so to those people who have degrees while sitting on their fanny while the rest of us work our butts off:  GET OFF YOUR ASS!   America is screwed up and you aren’t helping it.

Kenneth B. O’Neill USAF Msgt. (Ret-1972) 1929-1995

On this day in 1929, my father was born.  I heard the story about how hard times were–to the point where my grandpa often stole chickens and such to keep the family fed.  They picked cotton. They worked the fields and they were very creative.  My grandmother, Mary E. O’Neill played an organ, Dad could write and Uncle Jackie could also–in fact, my uncle had a photographic memory!  He could read a book and remember it almost word for word, page number and chapter of what he wanted to tell us about.  In short, Uncle Jackie was a genius!

I”ll share some of the funny stuff at some point but for now, I’m just going to sit back and remember some of the fun things–like when we all went camping at Ringling Lake in Eastland, TX.

He’s been gone since 1995, but I think of him every year. I’m a little late tonight, but I was always late for everything when I was young–except school and work.  I drove my dad nuts if I didn’t call when I was supposed to, but today I wish I could call him…I miss him more than anyone can comprehend, but if I could call him, I’d introduce him to this little guy–his great-grandson!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=409471489133877&set=vb.100002130892797&type=3&theater

I see a little of Dad in him…Just enough to lemme know that that boy has the Irish in him!  I think his hair is going to be like Dad’s too, but it’s too early to tell…

Anyway, if my dad is out there somewhere with his arms folded across his chest wondering what the heck is going on around here, I just wanna say this:  ”Happy Birthday, Dad! You can put your halo back on now. I remembered!”